Story of My Life

2010-12-20T15:05:00.000-08:00

Had my first conducting experience Saturday night, directed my first choir concert. Stepping up to the music stand was comparable to being born. And if that's over the top, let's just say I'm pretty sure I've found my calling in teaching music.

2010-12-20T14:49:00.001-08:00

The joy of life is finding a beautiful something in everything.

This Past Week

2010-10-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

has been, in it's entirety, one of the worst yet. God was with me through the conflicts though, and it's finally the weekend. I'm hoping Monday will be a breath of fresh air and I can get my priorities straight.
All-Festival auditions were Sunday, I scored a perfect 80/80 with positive timbre and blend comments. Yesterday morning was All-State auditions, those are more tedious, but I feel pretty confident about it. The difference is Fest is one page of the audition piece "Sitivit Anima Mea," and State is the whole song, a solo, plus sight singing. We won't get those scores until November. Hoping!

Camp Blessing

2010-07-25T19:38:00.000-07:00

This past week I've been at a Christian youth camp called Camp Blessing in Northern Ohio. The week was a life-changing one for me and for the other 200 campers in attendance. First thing when I walked in, they pointed to a box full of cell phones and told me to add mine to the collection, second thing I got stung and found that I was allergic to bees on a campus without a camp nurse, then 90+ degree temps and 65% humidity without air conditioning anywhere on the campground, and yet it was the most enlightening and wonderful five days of my life. Under the circumstances outlined above, 8 hours from home with a group of people I wasn't close to, and missing my comfort zone, I hated the first two days and in the midst of my complaints, God asked me, "Can you not give me five days of your time?" And I broke. So many times we are distracted and are satisfied with living our own lives and keeping God on the sideline when He wants more than anything to have a relationship with us. That night in service God showed Himself to me in a way I've never felt. He embraced me and showed me the depth and fullness of His love in a supernatural way. And as I was praising Him, He filled me with the Holy Spirit, I began praising Him in other tongues. I can't explain it, I don't understand it, all I know is that when I ran out of names to describe His beauty, my own language failed me and the same thing that happened in the Upper Room in the book of Acts happened that night in the tabernacle. It sounds crazy, but I'm here to tell you Pentecost is real and still alive today. I'm a living example.

How You and Mario are Alike

2010-03-15T18:19:00.000-07:00

I remember a time in my younger years that I owned an old school Nintendo GameBoy. I could always be found playing that GameBoy, trying to beat one game- Super Mario 64. Daily I strived to achieve a higher level than the day before. Often I failed, Mario fell off a cloud, and I had to start the level over, but every time, I learned from my mistake and didn't make the same mistake the next time I came to the obstacle.

Super Mario is alot like our walk with Christ. We daily try to reach a new level, to set a new standard in our Christian faith. Alot of times we fail, but God's grace is as deep as the ocean and He loves us unconditionally, and forgives us when we fail Him.

Someone once asked what Christianity was. My answer is that it's a growing process. It's following Jesus. It's giving Christ a broken heart and letting Him mold You into something beautiful. He loves us as we are, but has a vision for what we can become. Being a Christian is learning His ways through reading His word, trying to be more and more like Him and less like the world with each day. The Bible says when we surrender our lives to Jesus, we are new creatures, old things are made new. Being a Christian means letting go of things that connect you with your old lifestyle, making a change, asking yourself what Jesus would do in every situation. It's not ritually saying a prayer or reading the Bible, it's loving Christ so much that we long for more of Him. We pray without ceasing, letting Him guide each step we make. It's important to read the Bible because it's a road map, telling us how to live and how not to live, a "cheat book" telling us how to overcome the obstacles we face. And it's a love letter to God's people, promising that this journey to "beat the game" will all be worth it in the end. Mario gets Princess Peach. We get Heaven.

I'm one hundred percent content

2010-01-22T16:31:00.000-08:00

with things now. I panicked there for a minute, but I know things are in God's hands, and I'm completely fine with that. I am looking forward to the future, yes, but I'm perfectly satisfied with living life day to day, relishing each moment, breathing in the present, remembering the past, but not dwelling in it. I'm realizing how fast time goes by and that I can't get this time back. I'll never be this Beth, ever again, so I'm going to enjoy things how they are while they lasts. I think I have Peter Pan Syndrome in that I am afraid of growing up. Afraid of leaving all I know behind, letting it go for something new. I don't know what I want, but that's okay because I'm not anticipating things anymore. Life is not controllable. It's God's life in me, I'm His vessel, so whatever direction He wants to take me in, I'm all up for it. He's the driver, I'm just along for the ride.

I have never understood why people let others dictate their lives...

2010-01-19T18:58:00.000-08:00

They let the opinions of others (significant or not) make their decisions. They sacrifice finding true happiness for logic or "rational thinking."
I mean you could honestly sit back and watch your dream pass you by while you listen to the voices of others who have a "I'm not pleased, why should you be?" mentality.
I'm not talking about anything in specific, but several things have just brought me to the edge lately. People get so absorbed in the way they are viewed or perceived, and in the meantime someone else gets their happiness.
In the end what matters most? The opinion of people or the viewpoint of God? God is our judge. Not people.
Deuteronomy 1:17 says "...ye shall not be afraid of the face of man; for the judgment is God's: and the cause that it is too hard for you, bring it unto me, and I will hear it."
The Bible also says not to let your good be evil spoken of, but the verse above says don't over analyze things or let the opinion of man worry you, because God is our judge.
Friends are great, but God's stance is the only one that counts in the end.

a world of questions for a world with no answers

2010-01-05T18:29:00.000-08:00

Oh how I'd just love to fast forward time to the point where I know I'm exactly where and who I'm supposed to be, and I'm fulfilling my purpose in life. I don't know where I'm going half the time, and it's like I'm walking on a tightrope- blind-folded. I'd totally fall off this tightrope if it weren't for God's anti-gravity keeping me balanced up here. I love the journey, I like the day to day activity of my music stuff and friends and other things that keep me smiling along the way, but it's like at some point you find yourself asking- where am I going? Sure I have goals and hopes for the future, but it's like an endless rope of plans and projects. Today I'm gonna do this, tomorrow I hope to accomplish that, which will lead to something else, and on down the line, I hope I'm successful in doing something different, but where does it end?? When have I accomplished all the goals and achieved what I ultimately set out for? How can I know when I don't even know what I'm setting out for?

this century's already ten years old. it's growing up so fast.. :')

2010-01-01T00:49:00.000-08:00

happy new year! this past year was one of my favorite years yet. i had an amazing God experience. i've grown up alot in '09, but i'm looking ahead and anticipating great things for the year to come. i know that God is going to use my ministry to do great things. i know He's gonna prove all over again how truly magnificent He is. my biggest resolution? explore Him, memorize His heart, sync my desires with His, and become a pure and useable vessel He can reach the world through. it's now a race against time. we don't know when our lives will end, and until the whole world hears, it's our duty to reach. that's what i want to spend 2010 doing. reaching, loving, building my faith, and helping others build theirs, and pleasing Jesus Christ.

All Fest Audition

2009-10-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

Sunday was the audition date for All-Festival, a district honors choir that's a pre-event for KMEA All-State. Twenty-nine students would audition with the first page of Io Mi Son Giovinetta. I was ready for this audition, knew my part like the back of my hand, and then three days before the audition I get sick and test positive for the flu. So of course me and my director both panicked, it was quite an experience.
So on Sunday I did everything I could to revive myself enough to audition and squeeze by.
Got my score back that night and got a 79 out of 80 points possible! I was shocked! I couldn't breathe out of my nose at all and was very weak during the audition, so it was no surprise to me that the one point was because of phrasing, I know I breathed in the wrong place a couple times. But still I was ecstatic to have made that high of a score despite my illness! I give God 100% of the glory because He gave me the strength to pull through even though I didn't feel like it at all.

No Guys, Just God.

2009-09-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

A couple of nights ago I was thumbing through a book called "Live God Loud" when a certain chapter caught my attention. The chapter talked about sacrificing dating. It told about a girl who had chosen her relationship with God over a relationship with a boy. I read on and the author made a suggestion- that if you were really serious about God and wanted to build a stronger relationship with Him, you should focus on that one relationship for a while before you take on another with a boy. I thought this was a great idea. It was the middle of July at camp when I got on a serious note with Jesus. So from that date, I'm gonna wait a year before I even consider dating someone. This is my experiment with Christ. I'm not saying it's wrong to date, not at all. I'm just saying this seems like a good plan to me. I've prayed about it, and I think it pleases God, so I'm gonna work on getting closer to Him before I think about getting close to a guy. Sounds like a plan to me. :)

The Wonderful Musical Ed

2009-09-21T17:21:00.000-07:00

I know that I have anything to blog about, but I'm going to anyway just because it somehow makes me feel better. Blogging is alot like talking to yourself, especially if no one follows your blog. Regardless, it's a very constructive activity, I think.
I was thinking today that I have the most amazing people in my life. I have some great family members, a great church family, great friends, great choir family, and the world's greatest music teachers. I'll take a second to tell you about them.
The world's best choir director, Felts, teaches you all about arpeggios and life in general. He is constantly reminding us that "there is a time and a place for everything" and that if we unite our hearts, minds, and talents, we can do anything. He's very passionate, can you tell?
My piano teacher, Earlene, plays the piano better than Mozart and patiently (I have no idea how she manages this) teaches me every week. She reminds me on facebook many weeks that I have a piano lesson or else I will forget... lol.
My voice teacher, Dr. Wolf, is the sweetest lady on the planet and is a genius in both teaching and performing. She can speak foreign language better than the people in their own country can.
If it weren't for these three music educators, I wouldn't be half the musician I am. I owe a very large portion of my skills and musicianship I have to their dedication and love. The thing I love about each of these individuals is that they have confidence in their abilities, but are so down to earth. They aren't stuck up at all and I can laugh with them or talk to them about anything in the world and they'll give me some of the best advice anyone could ask for. They are some of my closest friends.
But yeah, I just thought I'd dedicate this post to them. :)

Psalms 69

2009-09-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

Lately I've felt like a zombie. I have no energy, I've been broken inside over something someone said that really tore me apart. My physical condition hasn't been much better. I'm always tired, I don't feel like myself, I hurt all over, I have weird breakouts and unneccesary fevers, and all of that has taken a toll on my emotional state as well. I came to the point tonight when I realized the condition I was in. I felt like no one could understand the extent of what I was feeling. I've been in so much physical and emotional pain lately and to be honest it's put me in a depressive state. So when all my tears were cried and I'd done all I could do, I went and laid down on my bed. I told God I needed help- badly. Man did he listen. I sat down and wrote Him a letter in which I told him all of my feelings that I've bottled up. I told him how tired I was and how sick I was of feeling hurt and in pain. I told Him I felt like no one understood or even cared and then in the middle of that letter He gave me some serious encouragement. It was like He embraced me and showed me all of the blessings that He's placed in my life. All of the good things. Sometimes we get so focused on the bad in our lives, all of the stuggles we face, how much it hurts to go on and we don't even take time to thank God for the strength and the help He sends us. God showed me the faces of each one of my friends, my family, my church family, my choir, my talents, all of the things that bring me joy and keep me living and happy. I apologized to God for being so selfish and overlooking all that. He didn't stop there. He directed me to read my Bible, particularly Psalms 69. You can read the whole chapter here, but basically David is telling the Lord how distressed he is, how he has cried and no one can comfort or understand his pain. He is basically feeling exactly what I am, and this chapter shocked me because it matched my situation so well. It truly took the words out of my mouth. It encouraged me to know that God cares, to know that He hears every whimper, and feels my pain. He knows even when I don't say anything that I am hurting and He doesn't tire of my pleas for help. He is my lifeboat and my shelter in this storm and I know He'll bring me through this difficult time. I believe He will make things right, change my loved ones, and ultimately heal whatever's wrong with me for HIS glory. That is something I have faith in.

I Found This

2009-09-16T11:06:00.001-07:00

to be very interesting. Maybe it's coincidental, but you can't help but wonder... The devil is the master of deceit. Watch the video.

Sick as a Dog?

2009-09-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

I've heard people say they were "sick as a dog." I'm not for sure what that's supposed to mean, or how that saying came about, but I think that could describe my condition right now.
Sunday morning in Charles' class I noticed a tickle in my throat, and from there it's gone downhill. Yesterday I went to school but I had a fever and was aching all over and all that jazz that comes with the flu. Today it was just terrible, so I didn't even attempt going to school.
So here's how my morning began: It was at the beginning of what my first block would be if I had gone to school this morning, that my phone starts ringing. Obviously, I was awakened from my peaceful slumber... I had two texts and my sister Hollie was calling me, so I had to get up.
I grumbled a hello and Hollie informs me that my choir director had called their phone this morning wanting to know why I wasn't at school and where I was. He didn't say so, but I think the reason he was so concerned might have been that today we were working on the italian Allstate audition piece. I'm the only one that really knows how to pronounce the italian words... Lol... Nah I'm just kidding. He might've really cared. Haha.
But I guess I'll end up going tomorrow, H1N1 or no H1N1, we have after-school practice to work on the italian piece and plus I don't like staying home. :(